Tag: adult orphan

Presence of Absence

I went to a webinar on grief and loneliness, and the speaker used the phrase “presence of absence,” part of a quote by Edna St. Vincent Millay. It was an “aha” moment of recognition of how I was feeling, especially with the fresh grief of the death of my 19-year-old cat. This was the first…… Continue reading Presence of Absence

Love Lives On

Long before I heard the term continuing bonds, I was already practicing them with the people I loved who had died. The collage I made represents some of the ways I continue my connections. I have a porcelain doll on my shelf that belonged to my maternal grandmother. She died when I was in 7th…… Continue reading Love Lives On

A New Kind of Birthday

“You were the first baby I saw being born,” my mom would tell me when she would wish me a happy birthday every year. I was the second of five children. The window was at an angle that allowed her to see my entrance into the world. “You were always in a hurry, ready to…… Continue reading A New Kind of Birthday

A Love Letter to My Father

Dear Dad, On this first Father’s Day without you, the words that come to mind when I think of you are kind, compassionate, supportive, faithful, and my champion and cheerleader. I can feel you in the way I live my life, especially in your example of how you treated the least among us. How you…… Continue reading A Love Letter to My Father

Nature Grief Reflection

Nature was the first place I could breathe again after Mike died in 2012. Desert Botanical Garden is located in Phoenix, AZ, about 40 minutes from where I live. The desert has a unique landscape with hard, dry ground, but the plant life that thrives here has such extraordinary beauty. In many ways, it’s reflective…… Continue reading Nature Grief Reflection

Grief Whiplash

This Memorial weekend has been a whirlwind of emotions that were unexpected. I’d wake up and go to sleep sad, with moments of peace and joy in between. The whiplash between these feelings left me feeling unsettled. When I spoke to my counselor today, she said it was natural as our country remembered the men…… Continue reading Grief Whiplash

Grief Support

One of the few good things that came out of the pandemic is the availability to find grief support no matter where you live, thanks to Zoom and other technology. Though being with other people is nice, it’s not always feasible. I attended three webinars on grief this week, two related to Mother’s Day. The…… Continue reading Grief Support

Assumptive Grief

Last week, I attended a virtual seminar by Wendy Kessler, MSW, FT, called “Relinquishing Our Assumptive Grief.” This was the first time that I had heard that term, but it is what I’ve lived through with each death that I’ve experienced, especially when my husband died. Wendy defines it as “the core beliefs that ground,…… Continue reading Assumptive Grief

Unexpected Grief

I was caught off guard this week by grief as Easter is approaching. After ten days of photographing the Phoenix Film Festival with long covid, I was exhilarated and exhausted. I’ve been a volunteer at the festival for seven years, and I’ve met the nicest people. Last year, I could only photograph the first weekend…… Continue reading Unexpected Grief

Continuing Bonds

One of the most painful things about death is the loss of the physical presence of your loved one. Gone are the phone calls, visits home, and shared memories. These connections gave you a sense of your place in the world and a feeling of being grounded. But, without these beloved people, how do you…… Continue reading Continuing Bonds