Love Lives On

Long before I heard the term continuing bonds, I was already practicing them with the people I loved who had died. The collage I made represents some of the ways I continue my connections.

• I have a porcelain doll on my shelf that belonged to my maternal grandmother. She died when I was in 7^th grade, and she always had it on her dresser. The dress is homemade, her face has cracks, her eyes are pushed in a little, and her head needs to be propped against something solid to stay in place. My kids have asked me over the years why I don’t get it fixed, but I like it just the way it is because that is how I remember it. I also have rosary beads that belonged to my dad. He always had at least one set of rosary beads by him wherever he sat.  I keep it beside my bed, grateful to have something he held often.
• Photography and music continue to bind Mike to me. It was through music that I met Mike when he was playing at a coffee house. He was the one who taught me about photography. About five years after Mike died, I was driving home from photographing a music gig, and it hit me how my life had come full circle with music and photography, thanks to Mike.
• I come from a family of storytellers, and Mike was a writer. I participated in a storyteller event by the local newspaper, where I shared my story of the music and photography, Mike’s death, and how he lived on in me.  It was at a venue where I had photographed many musical acts, and it was interesting being on the stage in front of an audience instead. Little did I know that what I was sharing was continuing bonds. I also think of my parents’ stories of their growing up, their parents and siblings, and how I carry them with me because I took the time to listen. Unfortunately, I cannot share stories of Mike and my parents with my family, but I share them with my friends.
• I wear the last necklace Mike gave me the Christmas before he died. It is a Mobius strip necklace that reads, “I love you; I love you more.” I often rub the pendant, a sign of remembrance and comfort.
• The way I treat others in the world is another way that Mike and my parents continue to shine. I was taught to treat others with respect and compassion and try to bring those traits with me to those I meet.

Continuing bonds help me endure the pain of grief as I keep the people I love dearly in my heart and mind forever.