Category: Bittersweet Life

The Memory Keeper

One of the things that makes Mike’s death hard is the lack of people sharing memories about him. The early days were full of shock and extreme grief. Because of the circumstances of his death and an encounter with a former client who made an inappropriate remark, I was cautious with what I shared. My…… Continue reading The Memory Keeper

Presence of Absence

I went to a webinar on grief and loneliness, and the speaker used the phrase “presence of absence,” part of a quote by Edna St. Vincent Millay. It was an “aha” moment of recognition of how I was feeling, especially with the fresh grief of the death of my 19-year-old cat. This was the first…… Continue reading Presence of Absence

Saying Goodbye

“Bella,’ photo, ink, and watercolor The colors represent the light and joy she brought into my life. Living with grief means living in two worlds. The one where I go about my day taking care of life while inside, an emotional storm is raging. Each death that I experience only compounds the grief that I’m…… Continue reading Saying Goodbye

Intertwined Grief

Watching my 19-year-old cat decline has stirred up so much grief that is intertwined with the deaths of my parents and husband. Although she can eat, drink, use the litterbox, and get up on the couch and bed, she’s slowing down and walking like an old cat. I took her to the vet last week,…… Continue reading Intertwined Grief

Grief Go-To’s

What’s Your Grief  put together an outline of “My Grief Favorites.” It is an excellent exercise for looking at the different resources that I’ve found helpful. Reading about or hearing people share about grief makes me feel normal. Here is a list of the resources that have helped me since 2012. My Grief Favorites: 📚…… Continue reading Grief Go-To’s

Finding My Superpower

I had never watched Marvel movies or had much interest in them. I tend to like independent films that are more story-driven than action. I recently attended a monthly free online workshop by Wendy Kessler on “Superhero Grief: The Transformative Power of Loss” by Jill Harrington. It gave me new insight into the world of…… Continue reading Finding My Superpower

Grief Dreams

In the dead of night, when I want nothing more than a peaceful sleep, my dreams become haunted by the images of those who have died. They are not scary apparitions but grief-driven dreams over which I have no control. Some are sad, while others bring comfort. They don’t happen every night but spill into…… Continue reading Grief Dreams

Love Lives On

Long before I heard the term continuing bonds, I was already practicing them with the people I loved who had died. The collage I made represents some of the ways I continue my connections. I have a porcelain doll on my shelf that belonged to my maternal grandmother. She died when I was in 7th…… Continue reading Love Lives On

Cooking For One

One of the hardest things to do after Mike died was to cook. I enjoyed cooking and baking for all our married life. Over time, I rarely used a cookbook, preferring to create my own recipes, often inspired by something I liked. After Mike died, my son and I ate out a lot, earning many…… Continue reading Cooking For One

A New Kind of Birthday

“You were the first baby I saw being born,” my mom would tell me when she would wish me a happy birthday every year. I was the second of five children. The window was at an angle that allowed her to see my entrance into the world. “You were always in a hurry, ready to…… Continue reading A New Kind of Birthday