Finding Joy and Healing Through Improv: A Personal Story

Updated March 5, 2026

Grief is the roommate that no one wants, coming uninvited when a loved one dies. Though the pain of the initial moment of death softens over time, it’s a hum always playing in the background that can become a full orchestra at a moment’s notice. Until I lived through the death of my husband, I didn’t understand the extent of the pain or how special dates and anniversaries would cause physical and emotional upheavals. Finding creative outlets is one way I’ve learned to cope with loss, and it also keeps me connected to Mike. Many of these pursuits were unintentional, but they have made a massive difference in how I live my life.

Due to chronic conditions that I’ve developed over the last six years, I’ve had to adjust my creative interests. When the memories from before 2020 come up on social media, I can’t believe all the activities I was involved in. I would go to clubs around Phoenix and take photos of local bands performing; take many spur-of-the-moment trips to cities north of Phoenix to explore, photograph nature’s beauty, and take in the vibrant downtown scene; and volunteer for the Phoenix Film Festival. I met a variety of people, many of whom were creative, and it helped me thrive and rebuild myself after Mike’s sudden death. Since the death of my parents in 2022, I’m once again at a crossroads of finding ways to express myself artistically with limitations from long Covid and flare-ups of other chronic conditions. In 2023, I took up art again, which I can do at home and for pleasure. June 2024 would lead me down a path I never thought I’d take all because my friend shared about seeing “The Play That Goes Wrong.”

I hadn’t heard of it, though it celebrated its 10th anniversary in London’s West End this past week. I was curious and went down the YouTube rabbit hole, but in a good way. I discovered Mischief Comedy, the theatre group that created the play, and their streamed improv series, Mischief Movie Night In, which was shown during the pandemic. It’s a long-form improv that the group would do based on the Zoom audience’s suggestions for a genre, a title, and characters from social media. I watched all the videos and fell in love with the form. It was funny, which is great for increasing endorphins. I decided to give improv a try, though I felt a bit of trepidation. However, having already lived through the worst life events, I figured I had nothing to lose and might like it. If not, I could stop.

I went on Meetup to see if there were any improv groups near me. The first on the list was Community Improv LA, a virtual improv group based in Los Angeles. This was perfect. I didn’t have to travel and could always pop out of Zoom if it wasn’t for me. I had butterflies at the first meeting because I had no improv or acting experience. Stephen, the host and organizer of the group, was welcoming to everyone and made it feel safe to put myself out there. Although I was initially uncomfortable when it was my turn to participate, I did it anyway. Observing how other people would act out a scene was also fun. I found myself laughing at what people brought to the different forms that we did. The room stayed open after, and there was time to socialize. I signed up for the Wednesday and Sunday sessions, reserving the times in my calendar as a commitment to myself, and have been attending ever since.

I have found improv therapeutic in many ways. First, when doing improv, I was in the present moment, focusing on what others were doing and saying. It requires listening to people in the scene. The rest of the world drops away for the hour and a half that I’m participating. Next, it allows me to play and have fun. When we were kids, play was second nature, but we gave it up over time. Improv enables me to play again, relieving me of the constant need to be in charge of everything in my life. Before we start, Stephen has us think of our intention for coming to improv. Mine is always to have fun. After the first session, I became more comfortable putting myself out there and trying out ideas with the person I was in a scene with.

Since joining Community Improv, I’ve been invited to be a part of other improv groups. Each has a slightly different format, but they all share the same joy of creating something out of nothing. All my groups are warm, welcoming communities. I’m always happy to see familiar faces and grateful for what I learn from watching other improvisers. The best part is the laughter!

Another wonderful thing about improv is its impermanence. When the time is up, you let go of whatever you were doing. I take away from the session the joy of playing and being with other creative people.

I watched a TED Talk on improv. The speaker shared how our lives are all improvised. We make plans for the day and adjust to circumstances as they arise. That is certainly true when you must deal with the death of a loved one. You are making up a new story without knowing where you are going. You try out suggestions from others who have walked this path and see if they work for you. My experiences and knowledge of how fleeting life is have made me more open to finding outlets that bring me joy.

Click the links in the post for more information on the tools I’ve found helpful. Also, visit my Grief Resources page for other things that I’ve found helpful over the years.