Saying Yes to Life

The pandemic curbed the 2020 Phoenix Film Festival until the fall of last year, with limited seating for films. The 2021 festival was pushed to August because of the continued outbreak, but remarkable events with more film seating, filmmakers, and fan enthusiasts made it a success. I emailed the festival offering to volunteer five years ago using my photography email. I was asked by Leigh Ann Dolan, managing director for the last ten years, if I would be interested in doing the photography for the event. I had never done event photography, but I said yes.

Saying yes to life, especially after experiencing the trauma of Mike’s death, was not always easy. For the first couple of years, I did what I needed to do to survive. That meant being supportive to my kids, who were having to deal with the death of their dad. I ran my tutoring business and continued to substitute teach. All the time that I was doing these things, I was also grieving. I never knew when the waves of grief or anger would hit, and I had to walk through the messy emotions to provide for myself.

Seeing my son A. play music live got me out of the house and out of my head. Even if I felt sad, I could be a part of the world.

In 2013, I was contacted by the Marines to help tutor applicants on the math portion of the ASVAB exam. I went to the office, took the online test, and aced it. I created a study guide and began expanding my tutoring business. I soon got calls from other military branches asking me to tutor their applicants. The recruiter who initially contacted me shared my information with other recruiters. Saying yes allowed me to expand my business to tutoring math, which I love, while helping people achieve their dreams.

Saying yes to the Phoenix Film Festival has been rewarding in more ways than I ever dreamed when I first sent the email to volunteer. It allowed me to learn a new skill, event photography, and the joy of candid photography. I met creative people in the film industry and learned more about how it works. I love indie films because of their focus on storytelling. Over the last five years, I’ve seen so many beautiful films. The best part has been the people I have been fortunate to work with. This festival is run by two paid staff and over 200 volunteers. Because it’s such a great experience, I see many of the same people returning every year. It’s a place where I feel welcomed, supported, and valued as a team member.

Saying yes means allowing myself to be open to life. I don’t always feel my best, but I’m genuinely grateful that I’ve put myself out there. The friendships and confidence these experiences have given me have helped my healing.