Tag: Widow

No One’s Perfect

Copyright Jennifer Mullins It’s so easy when someone dies to make them a saint. Sometimes, B. would put her dad on a pedestal, but I wouldn’t. I think you honor someone who has died by looking at them as a complete human, the good and the bad. Relationships are complicated because we bring ourselves and…… Continue reading No One’s Perfect

The Other Goodbyes

Grief at the time of death is expected. The unexpected grief from the other goodbyes would bring the swells of sadness to the surface as I would have to let go of another thread of the cloth that bound Mike and me together. Copyright Jennifer Mullins When Mike first died, I couldn’t find the last…… Continue reading The Other Goodbyes

Sometimes, Saying Nothing is Best

Copyright Jennifer Mullins I heard so many platitudes when Mike died. The thing is, I know that I was just as guilty of doing the same thing. Only with lived experience could I change how I showed up for others. “He’s in a better place” or “he’s not suffering anymore” were common refrains. Not only…… Continue reading Sometimes, Saying Nothing is Best

Here Come Those Tears Again

Mike and me I spent the first three years working through the complicated emotions of Mike’s sudden death. It was painful to deal with all of the feelings: guilt, anger, sorrow, and I often didn’t know whether I was coming or going. It was exhausting, and I would have preferred to skip the whole process…… Continue reading Here Come Those Tears Again

The Second Year Is Harder

Copyright Jennifer Mullins In my second session of the hospice support group, a widower shared that as hard as the first year was, the second year was more challenging. It had only been five months since Mike had died, and the pain was so fresh. How could it be worse than this? The first year…… Continue reading The Second Year Is Harder

Being Present Instead of Tissues

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com Seeing someone crying is hard because you know they are in pain. It is uncomfortable as well because there is a feeling of helplessness. We want to ease the suffering of the person we love, but sometimes that is impossible. There are no words to ease the pain of…… Continue reading Being Present Instead of Tissues

Grief Food: Oreos and Red Robin

I’ve been a baker since I was a little girl.  I always loved to do it because I could be creative with the recipes.  March 6, 2012, was the 100th anniversary of Oreo cookies, so we picked some up.  I hadn’t had them in ages, and they were a nice treat. When I was writing…… Continue reading Grief Food: Oreos and Red Robin

Finding a Place to Breathe

Copyright Jennifer Mullins I didn’t realize how shallow my breathing had become after Mike’s death until I found a place where I could breathe again. Grief is so physically oppressive.  It interrupted my sleep, made my body ache, caused me to suffer from anxiety, and kept me from catching my breath. I spent a night…… Continue reading Finding a Place to Breathe