Tag: Widow

Transitions

I’ve never liked change. But, unfortunately, life is about constant change: birth, growing up, working, relationships, health, and death. The first and last are the bookmarks of life. It’s the in-between that is messy and unpredictable. I wish I could hold onto moments of joy forever, while I’d rather forget the most painful times. All…… Continue reading Transitions

Assumptive Grief

Last week, I attended a virtual seminar by Wendy Kessler, MSW, FT, called “Relinquishing Our Assumptive Grief.” This was the first time that I had heard that term, but it is what I’ve lived through with each death that I’ve experienced, especially when my husband died. Wendy defines it as “the core beliefs that ground,…… Continue reading Assumptive Grief

Continuing Bonds

One of the most painful things about death is the loss of the physical presence of your loved one. Gone are the phone calls, visits home, and shared memories. These connections gave you a sense of your place in the world and a feeling of being grounded. But, without these beloved people, how do you…… Continue reading Continuing Bonds

Reflection: 11 Years A Widow

Our Wedding, 1984. I was going to put in the last photo I have of Mike, but it makes me too sad. This March, I have lived in the fog that comes before Mike’s deathaversary. I can’t track the day or date, as if this will keep the date and pain from coming. Living in…… Continue reading Reflection: 11 Years A Widow

Holding Space

The greatest gift you can give a grieving person is to hold space for their grief. Our first instinct is to want to fix the pain that someone is in. But, with death, you can’t fix it because you can’t bring that person back to life or the grief that comes with it. I didn’t…… Continue reading Holding Space

Overlapping Grief Years

When Mike died in 2012, I went to a support group for people who had spouses/partners that had died. A man shared that the first year is hard, but the second year is harder. It had only been six months since Mike’s death, and this was not something I wanted to hear. However, I was…… Continue reading Overlapping Grief Years

Losing A Part of Myself

I read this sentiment in a memoir and then heard it again in a free monthly webinar by Wendy Kessler, MSW, FT, on Reimagining Love. When the person we love dies, it is unlike a scar that heals. Instead, it is an amputation that we learn to adapt to. We are never the same. Instead,…… Continue reading Losing A Part of Myself

Grief Storm

The life of a griever-aloneness, triggers, tears, exhaustion, and heartbreak. A never-ending cycle, especially when the shock wears off and the reality sets in. It is more challenging that you are going along, thinking you’ve got this, only to be hit by a tsunami of grief. It’s like having a band-aid being ripped off a…… Continue reading Grief Storm

Authentic Self

When I was younger, I spent a lot of time worrying about what other people thought of me and trying to please everybody. Grief has changed what is essential in my life, especially the older I get. What is left behind is my raw, authentic self. The year 2022 was painful, as I had to…… Continue reading Authentic Self

Reflections 2022

This week taught me how to embrace the total me, which can be hard to do when walking through grief. Recently, I was a guest on the podcast Brave Widow, where I shared my experience of becoming a widow in 2012 and my journey since then. I chose to share my story because I hoped…… Continue reading Reflections 2022