The holidays are a time when the grief I carry with me takes a toll on me. This year I had an epiphany that I develop holiday grief amnesia, where I forget that I feel this way every year since my husband died. I think it’s the brain’s way of protecting me from emotional overload. This year, I gave it a name, which has helped me be gentler with myself.
Tag: holiday grief
Evolving Christmas Traditions Through Loss
For the last three years, I’ve been writing about the holiday season on my blog. It’s helpful when I go back and see where I’ve been. It also is a reminder that the feelings of grief that come up at this time of year are normal. They serve as a compass of where my life…… Continue reading Evolving Christmas Traditions Through Loss
Holiday Reflection, 2023
This will be the twelfth Christmas since Mike died and the second without my parents. This is the first Christmas I’m the only living creature in my home since my cat, Bella, died in October. Since December 8th, my holiday grief has kicked into high gear. I have begun to cycle between joy and tears.…… Continue reading Holiday Reflection, 2023
Reflections 2022
This week taught me how to embrace the total me, which can be hard to do when walking through grief. Recently, I was a guest on the podcast Brave Widow, where I shared my experience of becoming a widow in 2012 and my journey since then. I chose to share my story because I hoped…… Continue reading Reflections 2022
Christmas Reflections
The sun streams through the windows this Christmas morning as the tears flow down my cheeks. Photos of people celebrating with their families, opening presents, and feeling joyful. This year I feel haunted by the Christmas past and longing for those I love. The reality is that life is continuously changing. The Christmases of my…… Continue reading Christmas Reflections
Traditions and Grief
My love language is food. I love to bake, but mostly I love to share what I make. So Christmastime is a special time for me to bake cookies that only come out once a year, ones my family has always enjoyed and looked forward to eating. This year, however, I don’t have the desire…… Continue reading Traditions and Grief
Holiday Memories
I haven’t been to my family home in Syracuse for the holidays in over twenty years because I live in Arizona, and my parents lived in New York. However, this year is different because this is the first Thanksgiving since they died. As the day creeps nearer, so do the overwhelming emotions I have kept…… Continue reading Holiday Memories
Beautiful Bittersweet Life 