Tag: Grief

Dealing with grief after the death of a loved one.

Exercise: Stress Reliever

One of the things that I knew would be important in dealing with the stress of grief was exercise. I also knew that it would have to be something I could do year-round since Phoenix summers are too hot for me to exercise outside. I decided an exercise bike would be a good choice, but…… Continue reading Exercise: Stress Reliever

Life is a Both/And Proposition

Copyright Both/And Jennifer Mullins My counselor is having me read Loving Bravely by Alexandra H. Solomon, Ph.D.  Each chapter has an assignment that helps you get to know yourself better, the patterns you have, and how to get the love you want. In one of the chapters, she talks about the concept of both/and.  I…… Continue reading Life is a Both/And Proposition

Never Forget

9/11 is forever seared into our collective consciousness as we watched in real-time the unimaginable: planes crashing into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and the field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.  It was horrifying watching the people fleeing the towers as first responders were heading into the fire, only to have them come crashing down on…… Continue reading Never Forget

No One’s Perfect

Copyright Jennifer Mullins It’s so easy when someone dies to make them a saint. Sometimes, B. would put her dad on a pedestal, but I wouldn’t. I think you honor someone who has died by looking at them as a complete human, the good and the bad. Relationships are complicated because we bring ourselves and…… Continue reading No One’s Perfect

The Other Goodbyes

Grief at the time of death is expected. The unexpected grief from the other goodbyes would bring the swells of sadness to the surface as I would have to let go of another thread of the cloth that bound Mike and me together. Copyright Jennifer Mullins When Mike first died, I couldn’t find the last…… Continue reading The Other Goodbyes

Sometimes, Saying Nothing is Best

Copyright Jennifer Mullins I heard so many platitudes when Mike died. The thing is, I know that I was just as guilty of doing the same thing. Only with lived experience could I change how I showed up for others. “He’s in a better place” or “he’s not suffering anymore” were common refrains. Not only…… Continue reading Sometimes, Saying Nothing is Best

Here Come Those Tears Again

Mike and me I spent the first three years working through the complicated emotions of Mike’s sudden death. It was painful to deal with all of the feelings: guilt, anger, sorrow, and I often didn’t know whether I was coming or going. It was exhausting, and I would have preferred to skip the whole process…… Continue reading Here Come Those Tears Again

The Second Year Is Harder

Copyright Jennifer Mullins In my second session of the hospice support group, a widower shared that as hard as the first year was, the second year was more challenging. It had only been five months since Mike had died, and the pain was so fresh. How could it be worse than this? The first year…… Continue reading The Second Year Is Harder

Being Present Instead of Tissues

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com Seeing someone crying is hard because you know they are in pain. It is uncomfortable as well because there is a feeling of helplessness. We want to ease the suffering of the person we love, but sometimes that is impossible. There are no words to ease the pain of…… Continue reading Being Present Instead of Tissues

Finding a Place to Breathe

Copyright Jennifer Mullins I didn’t realize how shallow my breathing had become after Mike’s death until I found a place where I could breathe again. Grief is so physically oppressive.  It interrupted my sleep, made my body ache, caused me to suffer from anxiety, and kept me from catching my breath. I spent a night…… Continue reading Finding a Place to Breathe