Grief Journey – Beautiful Bittersweet Life

Coping with Holiday Grief: A Personal Journey

The holidays are a time when the grief I carry with me takes a toll on me. This year I had an epiphany that I develop holiday grief amnesia, where I forget that I feel this way every year since my husband died. I think it’s the brain’s way of protecting me from emotional overload. This year, I gave it a name, which has helped me be gentler with myself.

Grief Dreams

In the dead of night, when I want nothing more than a peaceful sleep, my dreams become haunted by the images of those who have died. They are not scary apparitions but grief-driven dreams over which I have no control. Some are sad, while others bring comfort. They don’t happen every night but spill into…… Continue reading Grief Dreams

Grief Support

One of the few good things that came out of the pandemic is the availability to find grief support no matter where you live, thanks to Zoom and other technology. Though being with other people is nice, it’s not always feasible. I attended three webinars on grief this week, two related to Mother’s Day. The…… Continue reading Grief Support

Assumptive Grief

Last week, I attended a virtual seminar by Wendy Kessler, MSW, FT, called “Relinquishing Our Assumptive Grief.” This was the first time that I had heard that term, but it is what I’ve lived through with each death that I’ve experienced, especially when my husband died. Wendy defines it as “the core beliefs that ground,…… Continue reading Assumptive Grief

Reflection: 11 Years A Widow

Our Wedding, 1984. I was going to put in the last photo I have of Mike, but it makes me too sad. This March, I have lived in the fog that comes before Mike’s deathaversary. I can’t track the day or date, as if this will keep the date and pain from coming. Living in…… Continue reading Reflection: 11 Years A Widow

Losing A Part of Myself

I read this sentiment in a memoir and then heard it again in a free monthly webinar by Wendy Kessler, MSW, FT, on Reimagining Love. When the person we love dies, it is unlike a scar that heals. Instead, it is an amputation that we learn to adapt to. We are never the same. Instead,…… Continue reading Losing A Part of Myself

Reflections 2022

This week taught me how to embrace the total me, which can be hard to do when walking through grief. Recently, I was a guest on the podcast Brave Widow, where I shared my experience of becoming a widow in 2012 and my journey since then. I chose to share my story because I hoped…… Continue reading Reflections 2022

Christmas Reflections

The sun streams through the windows this Christmas morning as the tears flow down my cheeks. Photos of people celebrating with their families, opening presents, and feeling joyful. This year I feel haunted by the Christmas past and longing for those I love. The reality is that life is continuously changing. The Christmases of my…… Continue reading Christmas Reflections

Traditions and Grief

My love language is food. I love to bake, but mostly I love to share what I make. So Christmastime is a special time for me to bake cookies that only come out once a year, ones my family has always enjoyed and looked forward to eating. This year, however, I don’t have the desire…… Continue reading Traditions and Grief

Holiday Memories

I haven’t been to my family home in Syracuse for the holidays in over twenty years because I live in Arizona, and my parents lived in New York. However, this year is different because this is the first Thanksgiving since they died. As the day creeps nearer, so do the overwhelming emotions I have kept…… Continue reading Holiday Memories