Tag: death

The Other Goodbyes

Grief at the time of death is expected. The unexpected grief from the other goodbyes would bring the swells of sadness to the surface as I would have to let go of another thread of the cloth that bound Mike and me together. Copyright Jennifer Mullins When Mike first died, I couldn’t find the last…… Continue reading The Other Goodbyes

Sometimes, Saying Nothing is Best

Copyright Jennifer Mullins I heard so many platitudes when Mike died. The thing is, I know that I was just as guilty of doing the same thing. Only with lived experience could I change how I showed up for others. “He’s in a better place” or “he’s not suffering anymore” were common refrains. Not only…… Continue reading Sometimes, Saying Nothing is Best

Here Come Those Tears Again

Mike and me I spent the first three years working through the complicated emotions of Mike’s sudden death. It was painful to deal with all of the feelings: guilt, anger, sorrow, and I often didn’t know whether I was coming or going. It was exhausting, and I would have preferred to skip the whole process…… Continue reading Here Come Those Tears Again

The Second Year Is Harder

Copyright Jennifer Mullins In my second session of the hospice support group, a widower shared that as hard as the first year was, the second year was more challenging. It had only been five months since Mike had died, and the pain was so fresh. How could it be worse than this? The first year…… Continue reading The Second Year Is Harder

Being Present Instead of Tissues

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com Seeing someone crying is hard because you know they are in pain. It is uncomfortable as well because there is a feeling of helplessness. We want to ease the suffering of the person we love, but sometimes that is impossible. There are no words to ease the pain of…… Continue reading Being Present Instead of Tissues

45 Minutes

Copyright Jennifer Mullins At first, I never thought that I would stop crying.  The grief was overwhelming, and anything could trigger it. My dad had washed my towels, and S brought them to me.  They were rough and scratchy.  I sat on the bathroom floor and began to cry. That’s not how they were supposed…… Continue reading 45 Minutes

Kindness Matters

Copyright Jennifer Mullins Every act of kindness after Mike died, especially in the early days, made all the difference in my ability to cope with the immense loss and pain. We often think that these acts have to be big, but the small, quiet ones could bring me to tears. My parents flew across the…… Continue reading Kindness Matters

Write Everything Down

Copyright Jennifer Mullins There are so many hard things about death: telling my kids that their dad was dead was the worst.  As a parent,  you always want to protect them, but there are things that you have no control over.  Life kept marching on as we were all thrown into this new world that…… Continue reading Write Everything Down