Mike in York, UK 1986 On this Saturday, March 12th, in anticipation of the 10th anniversary of Mike’s death, I kept reminding myself that it wouldn’t be as painful as the day he died. Nothing would ever match the heartache and shock when I heard that he was dead. And it worked for the day…… Continue reading When Ten Years Feels Like a Minute in Time
Tag: death
I Carry You In My Heart
Copyright Jennifer Mullins The hardest thing about the death of a loved one is their physical absence. It takes the brain time to come to terms with a reality it can’t understand. And though Mike and my mom live in my heart, the physical loss can be staggering. After a brief respite of being numb,…… Continue reading I Carry You In My Heart
Grief’s Physical Effects
Seven negative Covid tests in the last few weeks prove that the symptoms I’m experiencing are from grief and not the virus. Tears are easy to recognize as an outward sign of mourning, and they have flowed often from the time mom went on hospice and have continued since her death two weeks ago. However,…… Continue reading Grief’s Physical Effects
Back to Work
I started back to work on January 31st, the first time since my mom died a week ago, though it seems like a year. That’s what time is like when someone dies. Everyone goes on about their lives as if nothing has happened when your world has changed forever. I knew that returning to tutoring…… Continue reading Back to Work
The Grief Roller Coaster
Copyright Jennifer Mullins One of the hardest things about grief is its unpredictable nature. Today I have felt every emotion: deep sadness, joy, numbness, and anger. Although everyone likes to refer to Elizbeth Kubler Ross’s stages of grieving, they were meant for people dying, not for those left behind. Grief is not linear, where you…… Continue reading The Grief Roller Coaster
Saying Goodbye to My Mom
I knew the call would come that my mother had died, but it was still excruciatingly painful.She died peacefully at home with my father and family at her side. Unable to travel because of a medical condition, I could only say goodbye virtually.It wasn’t the same, not being able to touch her hand or kiss…… Continue reading Saying Goodbye to My Mom
Books That Inspire
Copyright Jennifer Mullins Books have played an essential role in my life. I used to love mysteries until Mike died, and then the thought of dealing with death was too much. Also, they didn’t capture the grittiness of emotions that you go through when someone you love dies. Instead, I started reading books by people…… Continue reading Books That Inspire
Life is a Both/And Proposition
Copyright Both/And Jennifer Mullins My counselor is having me read Loving Bravely by Alexandra H. Solomon, Ph.D. Each chapter has an assignment that helps you get to know yourself better, the patterns you have, and how to get the love you want. In one of the chapters, she talks about the concept of both/and. I…… Continue reading Life is a Both/And Proposition
Never Forget
9/11 is forever seared into our collective consciousness as we watched in real-time the unimaginable: planes crashing into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and the field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. It was horrifying watching the people fleeing the towers as first responders were heading into the fire, only to have them come crashing down on…… Continue reading Never Forget
No One’s Perfect
Copyright Jennifer Mullins It’s so easy when someone dies to make them a saint. Sometimes, B. would put her dad on a pedestal, but I wouldn’t. I think you honor someone who has died by looking at them as a complete human, the good and the bad. Relationships are complicated because we bring ourselves and…… Continue reading No One’s Perfect
Beautiful Bittersweet Life 
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