Tag: bittersweet life

Meditation

Copyright Jennifer Mullins Grief took my breath away. My overwhelming emotions made it hard to get a deep breath. This, in turn, increased my anxiety, which soon became a constant companion. A few months after Mike died, I ended up in the ER, sure I’d had a heart attack. My tests showed a healthy heart,…… Continue reading Meditation

Coping With a Chronic Illness

Vestibular Self Portrait The top three grief experiences in order are the death of a child, spouse, and parent. The pain of my husband’s death is part of my DNA. But there is other grief that we encounter. One of them comes with developing and living with a chronic condition. On May 27, 2020, amid…… Continue reading Coping With a Chronic Illness

Accepting What You Cannot Change

Just the Three of Us I switched phone carriers and then got a new phone in the last few months. Both times, I lost recordings that I can’t replace. I had to learn to make peace with the things that I could not change. My dad had called and usually left a message for me…… Continue reading Accepting What You Cannot Change

Life is a Both/And Proposition

Copyright Both/And Jennifer Mullins My counselor is having me read Loving Bravely by Alexandra H. Solomon, Ph.D.  Each chapter has an assignment that helps you get to know yourself better, the patterns you have, and how to get the love you want. In one of the chapters, she talks about the concept of both/and.  I…… Continue reading Life is a Both/And Proposition

Never Forget

9/11 is forever seared into our collective consciousness as we watched in real-time the unimaginable: planes crashing into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and the field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.  It was horrifying watching the people fleeing the towers as first responders were heading into the fire, only to have them come crashing down on…… Continue reading Never Forget

No One’s Perfect

Copyright Jennifer Mullins It’s so easy when someone dies to make them a saint. Sometimes, B. would put her dad on a pedestal, but I wouldn’t. I think you honor someone who has died by looking at them as a complete human, the good and the bad. Relationships are complicated because we bring ourselves and…… Continue reading No One’s Perfect

The Other Goodbyes

Grief at the time of death is expected. The unexpected grief from the other goodbyes would bring the swells of sadness to the surface as I would have to let go of another thread of the cloth that bound Mike and me together. Copyright Jennifer Mullins When Mike first died, I couldn’t find the last…… Continue reading The Other Goodbyes

Sometimes, Saying Nothing is Best

Copyright Jennifer Mullins I heard so many platitudes when Mike died. The thing is, I know that I was just as guilty of doing the same thing. Only with lived experience could I change how I showed up for others. “He’s in a better place” or “he’s not suffering anymore” were common refrains. Not only…… Continue reading Sometimes, Saying Nothing is Best

Saying Yes to Life

The pandemic curbed the 2020 Phoenix Film Festival until the fall of last year, with limited seating for films. The 2021 festival was pushed to August because of the continued outbreak, but remarkable events with more film seating, filmmakers, and fan enthusiasts made it a success. I emailed the festival offering to volunteer five years…… Continue reading Saying Yes to Life

Here Come Those Tears Again

Mike and me I spent the first three years working through the complicated emotions of Mike’s sudden death. It was painful to deal with all of the feelings: guilt, anger, sorrow, and I often didn’t know whether I was coming or going. It was exhausting, and I would have preferred to skip the whole process…… Continue reading Here Come Those Tears Again