Category: Widow

Reflection: 11 Years A Widow

Our Wedding, 1984. I was going to put in the last photo I have of Mike, but it makes me too sad. This March, I have lived in the fog that comes before Mike’s deathaversary. I can’t track the day or date, as if this will keep the date and pain from coming. Living in…… Continue reading Reflection: 11 Years A Widow

Holding Space

The greatest gift you can give a grieving person is to hold space for their grief. Our first instinct is to want to fix the pain that someone is in. But, with death, you can’t fix it because you can’t bring that person back to life or the grief that comes with it. I didn’t…… Continue reading Holding Space

When your heart is broken And you think that you can’t take one more heartache Bravery is not fighting dragons or being a superhero. It’s getting up every morning to face a new day. Showering and getting dressed. Eating Doing your job the best that you can. Crying as you drive, walk, sit, or whatever… Continue reading Bravery in the Face of Grief

Grief Landscape

One of the prompts that I had in Writing You Grief was to write how your landscape had changed. When I was a child, I would watch scary movies that always seemed to have quicksand in them. I was always terrified of falling into quicksand, though I didn’t live in an area where there was…… Continue reading Grief Landscape

When Ten Years Feels Like a Minute in Time

Mike in York, UK 1986 On this Saturday, March 12th, in anticipation of the 10th anniversary of Mike’s death, I kept reminding myself that it wouldn’t be as painful as the day he died. Nothing would ever match the heartache and shock when I heard that he was dead. And it worked for the day…… Continue reading When Ten Years Feels Like a Minute in Time

I Carry You In My Heart

Copyright Jennifer Mullins The hardest thing about the death of a loved one is their physical absence. It takes the brain time to come to terms with a reality it can’t understand. And though Mike and my mom live in my heart, the physical loss can be staggering. After a brief respite of being numb,…… Continue reading I Carry You In My Heart

Living With Vulnerability

Copyright Jennifer Mullins On a recent Saturday, I had just turned the corner and was within walking distance of my house when my tire made a strange noise. I got out and checked the tire pressure. They were all at the right level, and I couldn’t see anything wrong with the tires. Unfortunately, when I…… Continue reading Living With Vulnerability

Finding a Place to Breathe

Copyright Jennifer Mullins I didn’t realize how shallow my breathing had become after Mike’s death until I found a place where I could breathe again. Grief is so physically oppressive.  It interrupted my sleep, made my body ache, caused me to suffer from anxiety, and kept me from catching my breath. I spent a night…… Continue reading Finding a Place to Breathe