March 13th will mark Mike’s 13th deathiversary. It feels like an eternity ago and yesterday at the same time. Anticipation of the actual date is emotionally hard. This year, I’ve reached out to people to spend time with as was suggested is something that I read recently about emotional anniversaries. Each year I meet the day differently, depending on where I’m at in my life.
Category: Widow
Grief Ghost: Coping With Loss and Memories
Grief Ghost It’s living with the ghost of Christmas Past, for no more memories can be made. Images that appear in your dreams Or your thoughts in the middle of the night As you lie awake, sleep evades you. It comes unbidden when those special days draw near. Wedding anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, death dates, and…… Continue reading Grief Ghost: Coping With Loss and Memories
The Memory Keeper
One of the things that makes Mike’s death hard is the lack of people sharing memories about him. The early days were full of shock and extreme grief. Because of the circumstances of his death and an encounter with a former client who made an inappropriate remark, I was cautious with what I shared. My…… Continue reading The Memory Keeper
Presence of Absence
I went to a webinar on grief and loneliness, and the speaker used the phrase “presence of absence,” part of a quote by Edna St. Vincent Millay. It was an “aha” moment of recognition of how I was feeling, especially with the fresh grief of the death of my 19-year-old cat. This was the first…… Continue reading Presence of Absence
Finding My Superpower
I had never watched Marvel movies or had much interest in them. I tend to like independent films that are more story-driven than action. I recently attended a monthly free online workshop by Wendy Kessler on “Superhero Grief: The Transformative Power of Loss” by Jill Harrington. It gave me new insight into the world of…… Continue reading Finding My Superpower
Music Memories
Jennifer Mullins Photography “Feeding Frenzy,” Jimmy Buffett’s live album from 1990, was a favorite for years. Mike spent part of his life in Florida and was a big Buffett fan. Although I was familiar with some of his songs, I became a big fan after hearing the live album, which was pure fun to listen…… Continue reading Music Memories
Grief Dreams
In the dead of night, when I want nothing more than a peaceful sleep, my dreams become haunted by the images of those who have died. They are not scary apparitions but grief-driven dreams over which I have no control. Some are sad, while others bring comfort. They don’t happen every night but spill into…… Continue reading Grief Dreams
Cooking For One
One of the hardest things to do after Mike died was to cook. I enjoyed cooking and baking for all our married life. Over time, I rarely used a cookbook, preferring to create my own recipes, often inspired by something I liked. After Mike died, my son and I ate out a lot, earning many…… Continue reading Cooking For One
Transitions
I’ve never liked change. But, unfortunately, life is about constant change: birth, growing up, working, relationships, health, and death. The first and last are the bookmarks of life. It’s the in-between that is messy and unpredictable. I wish I could hold onto moments of joy forever, while I’d rather forget the most painful times. All…… Continue reading Transitions
Continuing Bonds
One of the most painful things about death is the loss of the physical presence of your loved one. Gone are the phone calls, visits home, and shared memories. These connections gave you a sense of your place in the world and a feeling of being grounded. But, without these beloved people, how do you…… Continue reading Continuing Bonds
Beautiful Bittersweet Life 
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