Category: Holidays

Coping with Holiday Grief: A Personal Journey

The holidays are a time when the grief I carry with me takes a toll on me. This year I had an epiphany that I develop holiday grief amnesia, where I forget that I feel this way every year since my husband died. I think it’s the brain’s way of protecting me from emotional overload. This year, I gave it a name, which has helped me be gentler with myself.

Evolving Christmas Traditions Through Loss

For the last three years, I’ve been writing about the holiday season on my blog.  It’s helpful when I go back and see where I’ve been. It also is a reminder that the feelings of grief that come up at this time of year are normal. They serve as a compass of where my life…… Continue reading Evolving Christmas Traditions Through Loss

Grief Whiplash

This Memorial weekend has been a whirlwind of emotions that were unexpected. I’d wake up and go to sleep sad, with moments of peace and joy in between. The whiplash between these feelings left me feeling unsettled. When I spoke to my counselor today, she said it was natural as our country remembered the men…… Continue reading Grief Whiplash

Grief Support

One of the few good things that came out of the pandemic is the availability to find grief support no matter where you live, thanks to Zoom and other technology. Though being with other people is nice, it’s not always feasible. I attended three webinars on grief this week, two related to Mother’s Day. The…… Continue reading Grief Support

Unexpected Grief

I was caught off guard this week by grief as Easter is approaching. After ten days of photographing the Phoenix Film Festival with long covid, I was exhilarated and exhausted. I’ve been a volunteer at the festival for seven years, and I’ve met the nicest people. Last year, I could only photograph the first weekend…… Continue reading Unexpected Grief

Christmas Reflections

The sun streams through the windows this Christmas morning as the tears flow down my cheeks. Photos of people celebrating with their families, opening presents, and feeling joyful. This year I feel haunted by the Christmas past and longing for those I love. The reality is that life is continuously changing. The Christmases of my…… Continue reading Christmas Reflections

This Sad Season

I was listening to the “What’s Your Grief Podcast” episode on Holiday Musings on Family & Impermanence today, and I had an aha moment when Eleanor was sharing how her part 1 was when she was a kid and part 2 after her mom died. This resonates with me as I struggle with this holiday…… Continue reading This Sad Season

Holiday Memories

I haven’t been to my family home in Syracuse for the holidays in over twenty years because I live in Arizona, and my parents lived in New York. However, this year is different because this is the first Thanksgiving since they died. As the day creeps nearer, so do the overwhelming emotions I have kept…… Continue reading Holiday Memories

Letting Go

I belong to an online grief group with a meetup to get things done. One of the hard things to do when you’re grieving is to complete tasks. On Saturday, I tried to do three things at once: empty the dishwasher, take care of the clothes in the drier, and make a salad. I had…… Continue reading Letting Go

A Love Letter to My Mom

The last photo I took with my mom was in May 2020. Dear Mom, An empty spot opened in my heart when you died on January 23, 2022, leaving a deep sense of loneliness that cannot be filled, only lived with.  There will never be anyone like you again.  You knew me before the world…… Continue reading A Love Letter to My Mom