The holidays are a time when the grief I carry with me takes a toll on me. This year I had an epiphany that I develop holiday grief amnesia, where I forget that I feel this way every year since my husband died. I think it’s the brain’s way of protecting me from emotional overload. This year, I gave it a name, which has helped me be gentler with myself.
Category: Grief and Traditions
Nostalgic Memories and Family Traditions: A Personal Reflection
The wisps of melancholy flow through my body as the airplane lifts off the Syracuse tarmac, and I head back home to Phoenix. It has been a whirlwind weekend celebrating my daughter’s wedding and seeing family and friends. As I move across the sky, my body aches as I leave those I love behind and…… Continue reading Nostalgic Memories and Family Traditions: A Personal Reflection
Holiday Reflection, 2023
This will be the twelfth Christmas since Mike died and the second without my parents. This is the first Christmas I’m the only living creature in my home since my cat, Bella, died in October. Since December 8th, my holiday grief has kicked into high gear. I have begun to cycle between joy and tears.…… Continue reading Holiday Reflection, 2023
Unexpected Grief
I was caught off guard this week by grief as Easter is approaching. After ten days of photographing the Phoenix Film Festival with long covid, I was exhilarated and exhausted. I’ve been a volunteer at the festival for seven years, and I’ve met the nicest people. Last year, I could only photograph the first weekend…… Continue reading Unexpected Grief
Christmas Reflections
The sun streams through the windows this Christmas morning as the tears flow down my cheeks. Photos of people celebrating with their families, opening presents, and feeling joyful. This year I feel haunted by the Christmas past and longing for those I love. The reality is that life is continuously changing. The Christmases of my…… Continue reading Christmas Reflections
Traditions and Grief
My love language is food. I love to bake, but mostly I love to share what I make. So Christmastime is a special time for me to bake cookies that only come out once a year, ones my family has always enjoyed and looked forward to eating. This year, however, I don’t have the desire…… Continue reading Traditions and Grief
Beautiful Bittersweet Life 