Category: Coping with Loss

Saying Goodbye to My Mom

I knew the call would come that my mother had died, but it was still excruciatingly painful.She died peacefully at home with my father and family at her side. Unable to travel because of a medical condition, I could only say goodbye virtually.It wasn’t the same, not being able to touch her hand or kiss…… Continue reading Saying Goodbye to My Mom

Unexpressed Love

Copyright Jennifer Mullins Denial is a hard habit to break. I’ve been struggling to get a good night’s sleep for the last two weeks. I wake up groggy, and my body hurts. Sometimes, naps take the edge off, while I’m tense other times. Writing this the day before Thanksgiving reminds me that my body keeps…… Continue reading Unexpressed Love

Meditation

Copyright Jennifer Mullins Grief took my breath away. My overwhelming emotions made it hard to get a deep breath. This, in turn, increased my anxiety, which soon became a constant companion. A few months after Mike died, I ended up in the ER, sure I’d had a heart attack. My tests showed a healthy heart,…… Continue reading Meditation

Coping With a Chronic Illness

Vestibular Self Portrait The top three grief experiences in order are the death of a child, spouse, and parent. The pain of my husband’s death is part of my DNA. But there is other grief that we encounter. One of them comes with developing and living with a chronic condition. On May 27, 2020, amid…… Continue reading Coping With a Chronic Illness

No One’s Perfect

Copyright Jennifer Mullins It’s so easy when someone dies to make them a saint. Sometimes, B. would put her dad on a pedestal, but I wouldn’t. I think you honor someone who has died by looking at them as a complete human, the good and the bad. Relationships are complicated because we bring ourselves and…… Continue reading No One’s Perfect

The Other Goodbyes

Grief at the time of death is expected. The unexpected grief from the other goodbyes would bring the swells of sadness to the surface as I would have to let go of another thread of the cloth that bound Mike and me together. Copyright Jennifer Mullins When Mike first died, I couldn’t find the last…… Continue reading The Other Goodbyes

Sometimes, Saying Nothing is Best

Copyright Jennifer Mullins I heard so many platitudes when Mike died. The thing is, I know that I was just as guilty of doing the same thing. Only with lived experience could I change how I showed up for others. “He’s in a better place” or “he’s not suffering anymore” were common refrains. Not only…… Continue reading Sometimes, Saying Nothing is Best

Here Come Those Tears Again

Mike and me I spent the first three years working through the complicated emotions of Mike’s sudden death. It was painful to deal with all of the feelings: guilt, anger, sorrow, and I often didn’t know whether I was coming or going. It was exhausting, and I would have preferred to skip the whole process…… Continue reading Here Come Those Tears Again

The Second Year Is Harder

Copyright Jennifer Mullins In my second session of the hospice support group, a widower shared that as hard as the first year was, the second year was more challenging. It had only been five months since Mike had died, and the pain was so fresh. How could it be worse than this? The first year…… Continue reading The Second Year Is Harder

Being Present Instead of Tissues

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com Seeing someone crying is hard because you know they are in pain. It is uncomfortable as well because there is a feeling of helplessness. We want to ease the suffering of the person we love, but sometimes that is impossible. There are no words to ease the pain of…… Continue reading Being Present Instead of Tissues