There’s a rudderless feeling I’ve experienced with the death of both of my parents in 2022. I reflect on missing my dad three years from the anniversary of his death.
#missingdad #memories #grief
Category: Compound Grief
Focusing on What I Can Control: Coping Tools
The last two weeks have been stressful for me personally and in the country. I’m trying to navigate the worsening symptoms of my chronic conditions while also dealing with the results of the elections, both of which are wearing on my nervous system. Changes in the weather, sleep patterns, and visual and auditory overstimulation contribute…… Continue reading Focusing on What I Can Control: Coping Tools
Navigating This Season of Grief: A Personal Journey
Sometimes, I need an outsider to help me see what’s happening when I’m struggling because I’m too close to it. In this case, it was my counselor. This October, I’ve experienced more grief than “my normal.” I feel like I’m drifting through the days like a spectral, only anchored by my calendar and alarms on…… Continue reading Navigating This Season of Grief: A Personal Journey
Saying Goodbye
“Bella,’ photo, ink, and watercolor The colors represent the light and joy she brought into my life. Living with grief means living in two worlds. The one where I go about my day taking care of life while inside, an emotional storm is raging. Each death that I experience only compounds the grief that I’m…… Continue reading Saying Goodbye
Intertwined Grief
Watching my 19-year-old cat decline has stirred up so much grief that is intertwined with the deaths of my parents and husband. Although she can eat, drink, use the litterbox, and get up on the couch and bed, she’s slowing down and walking like an old cat. I took her to the vet last week,…… Continue reading Intertwined Grief
A New Kind of Birthday
“You were the first baby I saw being born,” my mom would tell me when she would wish me a happy birthday every year. I was the second of five children. The window was at an angle that allowed her to see my entrance into the world. “You were always in a hurry, ready to…… Continue reading A New Kind of Birthday
Grief Whiplash
This Memorial weekend has been a whirlwind of emotions that were unexpected. I’d wake up and go to sleep sad, with moments of peace and joy in between. The whiplash between these feelings left me feeling unsettled. When I spoke to my counselor today, she said it was natural as our country remembered the men…… Continue reading Grief Whiplash
Assumptive Grief
Last week, I attended a virtual seminar by Wendy Kessler, MSW, FT, called “Relinquishing Our Assumptive Grief.” This was the first time that I had heard that term, but it is what I’ve lived through with each death that I’ve experienced, especially when my husband died. Wendy defines it as “the core beliefs that ground,…… Continue reading Assumptive Grief
Holding Space
The greatest gift you can give a grieving person is to hold space for their grief. Our first instinct is to want to fix the pain that someone is in. But, with death, you can’t fix it because you can’t bring that person back to life or the grief that comes with it. I didn’t…… Continue reading Holding Space
Overlapping Grief Years
When Mike died in 2012, I went to a support group for people who had spouses/partners that had died. A man shared that the first year is hard, but the second year is harder. It had only been six months since Mike’s death, and this was not something I wanted to hear. However, I was…… Continue reading Overlapping Grief Years
Beautiful Bittersweet Life 
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