The holidays are a time when the grief I carry with me takes a toll on me. This year I had an epiphany that I develop holiday grief amnesia, where I forget that I feel this way every year since my husband died. I think it’s the brain’s way of protecting me from emotional overload. This year, I gave it a name, which has helped me be gentler with myself.
Category: Christmas
Evolving Christmas Traditions Through Loss
For the last three years, I’ve been writing about the holiday season on my blog. It’s helpful when I go back and see where I’ve been. It also is a reminder that the feelings of grief that come up at this time of year are normal. They serve as a compass of where my life…… Continue reading Evolving Christmas Traditions Through Loss
Holiday Reflection, 2023
This will be the twelfth Christmas since Mike died and the second without my parents. This is the first Christmas I’m the only living creature in my home since my cat, Bella, died in October. Since December 8th, my holiday grief has kicked into high gear. I have begun to cycle between joy and tears.…… Continue reading Holiday Reflection, 2023
Christmas Reflections
The sun streams through the windows this Christmas morning as the tears flow down my cheeks. Photos of people celebrating with their families, opening presents, and feeling joyful. This year I feel haunted by the Christmas past and longing for those I love. The reality is that life is continuously changing. The Christmases of my…… Continue reading Christmas Reflections
Traditions and Grief
My love language is food. I love to bake, but mostly I love to share what I make. So Christmastime is a special time for me to bake cookies that only come out once a year, ones my family has always enjoyed and looked forward to eating. This year, however, I don’t have the desire…… Continue reading Traditions and Grief
This Sad Season
I was listening to the “What’s Your Grief Podcast” episode on Holiday Musings on Family & Impermanence today, and I had an aha moment when Eleanor was sharing how her part 1 was when she was a kid and part 2 after her mom died. This resonates with me as I struggle with this holiday…… Continue reading This Sad Season
The Gift
Copyright Jennifer Mullins Photography Alzheimer’s is one of the cruelest diseases as it creates two losses: losing the person slowly while they are alive, followed by their physical death. It’s so painful watching a loved one go from a place of vitality to a shadow of who they were. I’ve had to deal with this…… Continue reading The Gift
Why ‘See You Next Christmas’ Sparks an Emotional Connection
See You Next Christmas at the Phoenix Film Festival This year, in general, has been more emotional, making the holiday season more challenging than usual. Watching many of the Christmas films that have been an annual tradition stirs up memories of good times but also brings sadness with them as well. The only two I’ve…… Continue reading Why ‘See You Next Christmas’ Sparks an Emotional Connection
Christmas Changes Through the Years
Copyright Jennifer Mullins Christmas is a continually revolving season of feelings, depending on where we are on our journey. I remember the magical feeling as a child of being at the top of our stairs, waiting to open our presents. Since the tree was at the bottom of the stairs, my parents put up…… Continue reading Christmas Changes Through the Years
Beautiful Bittersweet Life 