Category: bittersweet life

the joys and sorrows of living

Overlapping Grief Years

When Mike died in 2012, I went to a support group for people who had spouses/partners that had died. A man shared that the first year is hard, but the second year is harder. It had only been six months since Mike’s death, and this was not something I wanted to hear. However, I was…… Continue reading Overlapping Grief Years

Losing A Part of Myself

I read this sentiment in a memoir and then heard it again in a free monthly webinar by Wendy Kessler, MSW, FT, on Reimagining Love. When the person we love dies, it is unlike a scar that heals. Instead, it is an amputation that we learn to adapt to. We are never the same. Instead,…… Continue reading Losing A Part of Myself

Grief Storm

The life of a griever-aloneness, triggers, tears, exhaustion, and heartbreak. A never-ending cycle, especially when the shock wears off and the reality sets in. It is more challenging that you are going along, thinking you’ve got this, only to be hit by a tsunami of grief. It’s like having a band-aid being ripped off a…… Continue reading Grief Storm

Authentic Self

When I was younger, I spent a lot of time worrying about what other people thought of me and trying to please everybody. Grief has changed what is essential in my life, especially the older I get. What is left behind is my raw, authentic self. The year 2022 was painful, as I had to…… Continue reading Authentic Self

Reflections 2022

This week taught me how to embrace the total me, which can be hard to do when walking through grief. Recently, I was a guest on the podcast Brave Widow, where I shared my experience of becoming a widow in 2012 and my journey since then. I chose to share my story because I hoped…… Continue reading Reflections 2022

Christmas Reflections

The sun streams through the windows this Christmas morning as the tears flow down my cheeks. Photos of people celebrating with their families, opening presents, and feeling joyful. This year I feel haunted by the Christmas past and longing for those I love. The reality is that life is continuously changing. The Christmases of my…… Continue reading Christmas Reflections

Traditions and Grief

My love language is food. I love to bake, but mostly I love to share what I make. So Christmastime is a special time for me to bake cookies that only come out once a year, ones my family has always enjoyed and looked forward to eating. This year, however, I don’t have the desire…… Continue reading Traditions and Grief

This Sad Season

I was listening to the “What’s Your Grief Podcast” episode on Holiday Musings on Family & Impermanence today, and I had an aha moment when Eleanor was sharing how her part 1 was when she was a kid and part 2 after her mom died. This resonates with me as I struggle with this holiday…… Continue reading This Sad Season

Holiday Memories

I haven’t been to my family home in Syracuse for the holidays in over twenty years because I live in Arizona, and my parents lived in New York. However, this year is different because this is the first Thanksgiving since they died. As the day creeps nearer, so do the overwhelming emotions I have kept…… Continue reading Holiday Memories

Letting Go

I belong to an online grief group with a meetup to get things done. One of the hard things to do when you’re grieving is to complete tasks. On Saturday, I tried to do three things at once: empty the dishwasher, take care of the clothes in the drier, and make a salad. I had…… Continue reading Letting Go