Category: Bittersweet Life

A Love Letter to My Father

Dear Dad, On this first Father’s Day without you, the words that come to mind when I think of you are kind, compassionate, supportive, faithful, and my champion and cheerleader. I can feel you in the way I live my life, especially in your example of how you treated the least among us. How you…… Continue reading A Love Letter to My Father

Nature Grief Reflection

Nature was the first place I could breathe again after Mike died in 2012. Desert Botanical Garden is located in Phoenix, AZ, about 40 minutes from where I live. The desert has a unique landscape with hard, dry ground, but the plant life that thrives here has such extraordinary beauty. In many ways, it’s reflective…… Continue reading Nature Grief Reflection

Grief Whiplash

This Memorial weekend has been a whirlwind of emotions that were unexpected. I’d wake up and go to sleep sad, with moments of peace and joy in between. The whiplash between these feelings left me feeling unsettled. When I spoke to my counselor today, she said it was natural as our country remembered the men…… Continue reading Grief Whiplash

Grief Support

One of the few good things that came out of the pandemic is the availability to find grief support no matter where you live, thanks to Zoom and other technology. Though being with other people is nice, it’s not always feasible. I attended three webinars on grief this week, two related to Mother’s Day. The…… Continue reading Grief Support

Transitions

I’ve never liked change. But, unfortunately, life is about constant change: birth, growing up, working, relationships, health, and death. The first and last are the bookmarks of life. It’s the in-between that is messy and unpredictable. I wish I could hold onto moments of joy forever, while I’d rather forget the most painful times. All…… Continue reading Transitions

Assumptive Grief

Last week, I attended a virtual seminar by Wendy Kessler, MSW, FT, called “Relinquishing Our Assumptive Grief.” This was the first time that I had heard that term, but it is what I’ve lived through with each death that I’ve experienced, especially when my husband died. Wendy defines it as “the core beliefs that ground,…… Continue reading Assumptive Grief

Unexpected Grief

I was caught off guard this week by grief as Easter is approaching. After ten days of photographing the Phoenix Film Festival with long covid, I was exhilarated and exhausted. I’ve been a volunteer at the festival for seven years, and I’ve met the nicest people. Last year, I could only photograph the first weekend…… Continue reading Unexpected Grief

Continuing Bonds

One of the most painful things about death is the loss of the physical presence of your loved one. Gone are the phone calls, visits home, and shared memories. These connections gave you a sense of your place in the world and a feeling of being grounded. But, without these beloved people, how do you…… Continue reading Continuing Bonds

Reflection: 11 Years A Widow

Our Wedding, 1984. I was going to put in the last photo I have of Mike, but it makes me too sad. This March, I have lived in the fog that comes before Mike’s deathaversary. I can’t track the day or date, as if this will keep the date and pain from coming. Living in…… Continue reading Reflection: 11 Years A Widow

Holding Space

The greatest gift you can give a grieving person is to hold space for their grief. Our first instinct is to want to fix the pain that someone is in. But, with death, you can’t fix it because you can’t bring that person back to life or the grief that comes with it. I didn’t…… Continue reading Holding Space