Blog

A Love Letter to My Mom

The last photo I took with my mom was in May 2020. Dear Mom, An empty spot opened in my heart when you died on January 23, 2022, leaving a deep sense of loneliness that cannot be filled, only lived with.  There will never be anyone like you again.  You knew me before the world…… Continue reading A Love Letter to My Mom

Friends Help You Up When You Hit the Wall

Sign of the Times by Hugo Medina It’s invisible, so you don’t know when you will crash into it, but the wall of grief is always there. Friends who have your back help you get through these challenging times. This past week, I was doing something I have done for the past six years, which…… Continue reading Friends Help You Up When You Hit the Wall

Finding Grief Validation with Megan Devine

Grief is a complex part of life that we will all experience throughout our lives. I had experienced it with the deaths of my grandparents, relatives, and acquaintances. But it was only when my husband died that I fully understood the devastation of grief.  It also opened my eyes to the times that I thought…… Continue reading Finding Grief Validation with Megan Devine

When Ten Years Feels Like a Minute in Time

Mike in York, UK 1986 On this Saturday, March 12th, in anticipation of the 10th anniversary of Mike’s death, I kept reminding myself that it wouldn’t be as painful as the day he died. Nothing would ever match the heartache and shock when I heard that he was dead. And it worked for the day…… Continue reading When Ten Years Feels Like a Minute in Time

I Carry You In My Heart

Copyright Jennifer Mullins The hardest thing about the death of a loved one is their physical absence. It takes the brain time to come to terms with a reality it can’t understand. And though Mike and my mom live in my heart, the physical loss can be staggering. After a brief respite of being numb,…… Continue reading I Carry You In My Heart

The Relief of Shared Grief

Copyright Jennifer Mullins Finding people walking through grief, who are willing to be honest about their pain, can be a source of comfort. I had this experience yesterday. Every day since my mom died, I woke up feeling sad. I had a meeting to go to and cried on my drive there. Once I arrived,…… Continue reading The Relief of Shared Grief

Grief’s Physical Effects

Seven negative Covid tests in the last few weeks prove that the symptoms I’m experiencing are from grief and not the virus. Tears are easy to recognize as an outward sign of mourning, and they have flowed often from the time mom went on hospice and have continued since her death two weeks ago. However,…… Continue reading Grief’s Physical Effects

Back to Work

I started back to work on January 31st, the first time since my mom died a week ago, though it seems like a year. That’s what time is like when someone dies. Everyone goes on about their lives as if nothing has happened when your world has changed forever. I knew that returning to tutoring…… Continue reading Back to Work

The Grief Roller Coaster

Copyright Jennifer Mullins One of the hardest things about grief is its unpredictable nature.  Today I have felt every emotion: deep sadness, joy, numbness, and anger.  Although everyone likes to refer to Elizbeth Kubler Ross’s stages of grieving, they were meant for people dying, not for those left behind.  Grief is not linear, where you…… Continue reading The Grief Roller Coaster

Saying Goodbye to My Mom

I knew the call would come that my mother had died, but it was still excruciatingly painful.She died peacefully at home with my father and family at her side. Unable to travel because of a medical condition, I could only say goodbye virtually.It wasn’t the same, not being able to touch her hand or kiss…… Continue reading Saying Goodbye to My Mom