Navigating Grief: The Power of Community Connections

Grief is a lonely place to live. Each death that touches our lives changes us and our place in the world. Parents, spouses, children, partners, and friends each hold a special place in our hearts that is ripped open with their passing. We always wish for one more moment, conversation, or touch, knowing it will never be enough. Our heart is stitched back together, but the thread is never strong enough when we are once again touched by the reality of death. How do we find the hope to walk forward in the face of loss? For me, it’s finding strength in community.

I belonged to Alanon before Mike died, and I knew how being with people who came together for a common purpose made a difference with the difficulties I was dealing with. However, I needed to find a group that could support me in my grief for Mike. Fortunately, I could benefit from the services offered by Hospice of the Valley, even though Mike had not been a patient. I originally went to a group that was open to anyone who was dealing with the grief of the death of a loved one, but switched to a closed group for spouses/partners that hospice offered, which fit my specific needs. I attended two eight-week sessions three months apart. The words of wisdom I heard in that support group are still with me thirteen years later. After my parents died six months apart in 2022, I found an online grief support group, What’s Your Grief, that offered a variety of Zoom gatherings, recorded sessions, resources, and a place where I could connect with people on their own journey.

I’ve also found communities unrelated to grief, which inspire me to find joy in life. One of the best groups I stumbled upon was the Phoenix Film Festival. I emailed my photography address to ask about volunteering, and they asked if I wanted to photograph the event. Although it was out of my comfort zone, I said yes. This opened a new world where I did event photography for the first time, worked with fantastic staff and volunteers, got to be with independent filmmakers, and enjoyed indie films. Many of these relationships have continued over time.

My photography gave me access to other groups of people, where I also found community and friendship. Wherever I would go, I’d have my camera with me, which helped me meet people from all different parts of Phoenix. Having a mother who would talk with everyone was an inspiration for how I interacted with others. Photography would also bring me into the Phoenix music scene, where I made friends with local musicians and other photographers. They were always kind to me, and I loved taking photographs of their shows. The young women photographers encouraged me to use different settings on my camera and were always generous with sharing their knowledge.

Another group where I’ve found great joy is Community Improv LA, an online improv group that meets twice a week. In the spring of 2024, I started watching Mischief Movie Night In on YouTube, which was made during the pandemic, but it was a discovery for me. They brought me so much joy and inspired me to try improv. On June 24, 2024, I went to my first Zoom session with a lot of trepidation, anxious about whether I could do this. I was warmly welcomed by the host and group, and had so much fun. Sunday afternoons and Wednesday evenings became reserved for improv. Here was a safe place where I could be present in the moment, play, and laugh. For that hour and a half, the rest of the world and any troubles I had melted away.

The pandemic spotlighted the importance of community as we all lived in isolation. I lived alone and missed the social life I had carved out. The familiar feeling I have when I enter a physical room or my online improv group is a sense of belonging and love. When I see familiar faces, I’m filled with warmth, knowing that I’m in a safe place where I can breathe.

I look forward to these moments when people are as happy to see me as I am to see them. It’s nice catching up with friends after meetings. Death is the hardest part of life for those left behind, but having a community that is there for you to hold you up makes the journey bearable.