Dis/Connected

There is a place that exists when the person you love dies.

I see the world through a veil,

Dis/Connected from the world around me.

I’m physically present, but my being is somewhere else.

I can see nature’s beauty and hear the birds singing,

And yet, they feel like a distant reminder of life.

There’s a disconnection between the people in my life.

Very few are allowed into the space that I live in.

They are the beacon of fellow travelers who encourage me to keep going.

The things I’ve loved to do now sit gathering dust.

I want to reconnect with them, but my heart isn’t able to.

They wait patiently for my return.

I go through the motions of life,

Waiting, waiting impatiently to rejoin the world.

But grief will not be rushed.

Experience has taught me that I will learn to live with grief.

The things that gave me joy will return.

Until then, I will live in this Dis/Connected world,

Trying to be gentle and kind to myself.