The Relief of Shared Grief

Finding people walking through grief, who are willing to be honest about their pain, can be a source of comfort. I had this experience yesterday.

Every day since my mom died, I woke up feeling sad. I had a meeting to go to and cried on my drive there. Once I arrived, I sat in the back of the room and listened but did not participate. When the meeting was over, I put away my chair and left immediately. There were trees in bloom with white flowers humming with bees.
Instead of going, I pulled back into my spot to take photos.

At that moment, another woman from the meeting came out sobbing. I put my mask back on and asked if I could hug her. She said yes, and we stood there as she cried. After taking a step back, I let her talk, rubbing her arm as she expressed the overwhelming emotions she was feeling as she was going through a loss in her life. I mainly stood there, listening to her express her grief, while I set mine to the side for the moment. After that, she needed to release her pain, and I could share my experience with grief in brief comments. Sharing our experiences was a help to both of us as we hugged and parted company.

Having both the grief that I walked through from my husband’s death ten years ago and the fresh wound of my mom’s death three weeks ago, I empathized with my friend’s journey.
Being vulnerable to another person’s experience opens your heart, knowing that you are not alone. It is not a competition to see who has the worst grief, but a shared journey we all must travel as part of love and loss. My grief returned later in the day, but I could be present for a friend for that time in the parking lot when she needed someone.